I've taken the ACT, the SAT I and the ACT Plus Writing. I will be taking the SAT II Subject Test of Literature at the beginning of November. I will also be taking my hair out, for my nerves will have exploded by then.
I'm failing AP Chemistry. I know that much. The rest I have only a general idea of. I haven't checked for fear of it being even worse than I think. Besides, seeing it only ruins my day rather than motivating me to fix it. I get overwhelmed so easily, that knowing exactly how bad it is only makes it worse. It was the same when I was little; when I got a cut on my finger or a gash in my foot, I simply couldn't look at it if I was to avoid a fit of panic. The same goes for grades.
To be honest, I've already had a paroxysm of hysteria. A few, actually. And that's without checking percentages- or even letters. My body is in so much physical pain from the turmoil and tumult in my mind. I can sit for less than a minute in the same position and then have my entire back crack when I move even slightly. My muscles have never been tied into such complex knots. Nor have the strings of thought that I play my chords off of. Everything is one, giant, bloody mess.
You know, my brother, a convicted felon, got re-accepted into Yale. I just want to get into a good four-year. Please, please just let me have this.
I took the ACT my junior year. The other three are all within weeks of each other. Granted, I'm no starving child in the underbellies of the world, but, please: I, too, want things to work out for me.
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