Monday, October 22, 2012

You Animals!


In this recent Lance Armstrong debacle, I’m kind of left wondering what his team is up to. Turns out they’re busy throwing him under the bus. But why would they do such a thing? I say they’re fed up with Lance and they've got their own asses to save.
USADA CEO Travis T. Tygart  in his statement Regarding The U.S. Postal Service Pro Cycling Team Doping Conspiracy claimed: “It took tremendous courage for the riders on the USPS Team and others to come forward and speak truthfully… But that is what these riders have done for the good of the sport, and for the young riders who hope to one day reach their dreams without using dangerous drugs or methods.” And then he goes on to list the 11 names, in alphabetical order, of the teammates of Lance that fessed up. What I take issue in is the motive that Mr. Tygart so certainly claims was behind these riders’ confessions. “For the good of the sport,” he says- “for the young riders who hope to one- blah blah blah, pathos appeals.” Has it occurred to anyone else that- has anyone ventured to think that- perhaps these riders are driven by a bit of jealousy? Perhaps a bit of blame defecting? Though as understandable as their actions of defense are, it makes them no less of a self-driven animal than Lance is being made out to be.
“For the good of the sport,” the teammates admit to their wrongdoings. I see it as a well-timed ploy to induce karma. It makes sense why they’d be jealous: Lance single-handedly won America (and much else of the world) over doing a sport that honestly, the majority of Americans don’t care for. (Well, for good reason: without Lance, we won’t win. And, as the Guardian Express Newspaper aptly puts it, “Americans don’t care unless we are in contention.”) He garnered so much attention and was paid immensely for it. The amount Lance made a year since 1996 (his great comeback) was about $12 million. That’s the same amount as the entire USPS pro cycling team budget. Of course, the entire budget didn't go just to lance, but, as retired Olympic cyclist Mark Gorski illustrated “Lance Armstrong commands a substantial salary and that [12 million dollar] budget includes Lance.” Basically, Lance is a star- a star in a sport that hardly produces stardom. He’s a star in a system of very un-shiny planets that are anyways at a disadvantage for shiny-ness because of the dark space they live in. You get the jist. He’s a star and, well, can you even name his teammates? Did you even know he had 19 of them? So, great, I’m a teammate of Lance Armstrong, I help him achieve his victories, I spent years and years training and dedicating my life to this sport and what am I worth? Certainly not the estimated $125 million that Lance is. That would probably piss me off- just a little. Not only am I worth much less than my teammate, but I can’t say or do anything about it because of his touching cancer story that elevated him to national hero. He makes me feel worthless and I can’t say a thing because he’s a public saint. I’d be especially aggravated if Lance really was doping. He really was doping and I, the team member, can’t do shit because no one will believe me- no nation wants to lose their hero. Maybe it’s not so shocking that his teammates threw Lance under the bus just as it arrived. Well, the second time it arrived. It came around back in 1999 when, supposedly, the UCI produced a positive drug test on Lance. But Nike allegedly tried to cover it up and proved successful as the story didn't stick. The bus kept driving and his teammates were still left in his all-consuming shadow. Finally, now, the opportunity comes to get back. Enough allegations were made and enough of the American people believe them. Now, with much more support from the public, the petty human penchant for jealousy is allowed to be called “the good of the sport.”
                “For the good of the sport.” Right. Maybe for the good of naiveté. For the purpose of keeping people ignorant of- or at least busy enough to look past- their own dirty files. They chose the exact right time to come up. They confessed their own sins when the country is consumed by the defiling of their hero much more so than of his scurvy crew. Lance was supposed to be a leader, a captain, and now his poor, helpless teammates are confessing their wrongdoings as victims of the times- of bad management. The American people, much more concerned with the team’s star, are letting the rest of the team slide off into the corner to quietly serve their little timeouts and slaps on the wrists. The team is adding fingers in the many that are pointed at Lance, diverting the blame from themselves.
                I highly doubt that Lance's teammates' actions are for the good of anything but their own jealousy and blame shifting. I have a strong suspicion that what Lance’s teammates are doing is driven by self-interest. Kind of like what lance was driven by when, and if, he was doping. Kind of like animals that do whatever it takes to stay alive.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

From Capitalism to Ultimate Purpose


In my Visual Society class we've been discussing the effects of capitalism on human tendencies through the eyes of Marx, Ewen, Mills and Derber. They have a lot to say about capitalism. Generally, it’s that capitalism is shaping human tendencies. Nike’s, for example. They suggest, specifically Derber and Ewen, that my attraction to Nike's can be narrowed down to a ploy for attention. So I got to thinking, where does this need for attention come from? I tend to think that an individual is the way he is because that’s the way humans are, not because society molded the individual. Society wouldn't exist if the individual didn't.  Society is made from the individual human’s natural tendencies. Society makes us crave attention because a human naturally wants attention, with or without society. I, the individual, like Nike’s because they appeal to me aesthetically- I like aesthetic things because they imply health- I like health because I value life- I value life because that’s the way humans are. Why are humans this way? There is absolutely no greater reason, purpose or meaning for it.

Let’s back up again: why do we value attention? Because, ultimately, attention gives us meaning. What is our ultimate meaning? The religious would say that God knows. God gives us purpose. Purpose within our lives. Why are we here? God put us here. Why? To populate his Earth. Why’d he create the Earth? Because he could… Wait, then where’s the purpose in that? Where’s the purpose in God’s existence besides to run human life? Who created God? Did he pop into existence the same way scientists argue that humans did? If God has no purpose, how could we, supposedly his creation, have any purpose either?

God is there so that, ultimately, one day all of us can be together in our ephemeral form and do… what? What then? After the second coming of Christ or the first coming of the Messiah or whatever else religions claim, what happens after that? So that we can be in eternal happiness, yes I know, but look past that. What do these happy souls do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. They’re just… there.

We value attention because it gives us meaning. It gives life meaning. Why do we need meaning? Why can’t we live without purpose? Like an ant. We, humans, define and recognize its purpose, but the ant doesn't. The ant doesn't feel its purpose. It gets no gratification from its fulfillment or depression from failing. It just… is. God is able to answer the question of purpose for an entire planet, or universe, but not for himself. Because how could he possibly know why he exists? He has no parents or other existences, supposedly, telling him that there is a greater plan at work here. What is God’s purpose? Poor God doesn't know. God just… is.

Now that’s a terrible thought. The point of existence is that there is no point. Something happened, and now life is what it is. Whether you believe that something was the random split of a cell or the popping into existence of a god or God, it doesn't matter. None of it means anything.

But we can’t live with that thought governing our lives. We would just all kill ourselves. No, we have to think on a much smaller scale, so that we can enjoy this life we’re living. We give ourselves purpose because we are able to perceive it. And we, having the privilege of being human, are not just able to perceive purpose but get the pleasure of fulfilling it.

Through realizing that there is no real purpose to anything, I am made happier about the illusion of purpose that I have- that I’m a being capable of immense joy and fulfillment, unlike an ant. Even without a true purpose for existence, I am able to enjoy my Nike’s. Why? Because that’s the way humans are. Thank God!

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Sprinkler

I've realized a relationship can be a lot like running through a sprinkler. During, it's so fun and exciting. A nice and refreshing experience. But then when you have to get out, for whatever reason- your mom's calling you, you're too cold, your friends want to go somewhere else- when you get out it's really cold. Really cold and wet. You stay uncomfortable and agitated for a while, waiting for your clothes to dry. Then time passes and... you're dry. At that point... well, I don't know how it feels. I'm not there yet. I assume you're okay again. Or maybe that's not how it works. I don't know. I've also realized it's not so bad not knowing what the next stage feels like. It's okay being frustrated and mildly damp right now. Time and money take care of most things. I haven't got the latter, so I guess the prior will do.

I thought of this when I ran through a sprinkler this morning. I'm mostly dry now.