A couple summers ago there was a very random act of chance – of love, passion, disappointment and all that. But sometimes I’m very suppressed in my expression. If I could actually tell you what’s going on in my head I’d tell you that sometimes I wish you did love me enough to sacrifice your dreams of small-town Washington living for me and my big city ideas. Sometimes I do wish that you would propose to me right now so I’d say yes and live a simple life with you. But then I remember that I don’t want you sacrificing your dreams for anyone. And I remember that I don’t want a simple life. If I could actually tell you what’s going on in my head I’d tell you that I would never sacrifice anything but time and money for you. I love you more than I’ve ever loved someone – you know, romantically. And if I could I would change a lot of things about myself to make me better for you – you know, temporary changes. So when I leave off to college and you stay up here I can go back to being what is honestly me and forget all about you. But then I remember I don’t want to forget about you. I remember I want to remember your lessons and the joy you gave, forever. And I want you to remember it too. But we don’t need each other for that. If I could tell you what’s going on in my head I’d tell you we never needed each other. I’m pretty sure we’d come to the same conclusions and learn the same lessons had we not come together by some random act of chance – we just sped things along. We condensed a lot of emotions into just a year and a half and here I am, and here you are, and the grass is green and its summer again. If I could actually tell you what’s going on in my head I’d tell you a lot of things I’m a little too shy to say – and write. Until now.
